On November 22, 2022 around 7:00pm, Brianna’s name popped up on my phone. I answered to hear an excited and shocked sweet voice telling me, “My water just broke at Whole Foods!” After gathering more details and laughing together that she had a Hollywood moment, I encouraged her to call her midwife and then call me back. A few minutes later, Brianna called again to say her midwife said to go home and rest, eat, shower… laboring at home for as long as possible was a part of her birth plan so this seemed like the right call.
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Then there’s us- the ones in the trenches with fresh postpartum moms- and all we have to say is STFU to anyone speaking on behalf of all moms from a place of privilege.
The privilege of an easy pregnancy.
The privilege of a smooth postpartum recovery.
The privilege of no complications for mom or baby.
The privilege of health.
The privilege of no PPD/PPA.
The privilege of a fantastic maternity/paternity leave.
The privilege of sound sleep and easy feedings.
The privilege of feeling a strong bond with your baby.
We promise, if you knew a mom with a baby freshly cut from her abdomen, or one dealing with stitches from a deep 4th degree tear, you wouldn’t say a word about her needing support. So why is it that if a new mom is struggling mentally or emotionally, or a mom is gathering her tools for her postpartum tool belt, it’s okay to be completely dismissive of her experience by making judgement-laced comments about how perfect their own postpartum recovery + baby’s first few months were? It’s passive agressive...at best.
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The first couple of months in quarantine were spent in two of your homes (Jordan in one, Amy in another). We spent more nights at your house than our own while the world was shut down. We spent hours watching the news together- along with mindless shows to distract us- and just talking about the fluid nature of the virus. We connected over toilet paper rolls and the best clicklist tips. We were each other’s small slice of normalcy even though the topics of toilet paper and groceries were never in “normal” conversations before 2020.
As spring turned into summer, we listened to your voices crack as your due dates neared. The hope you had that things would be better when it was your turn deliver had faded. We listened to you breaking down- and grieving the birth /postpartum experience you imagined. We supported you as you collected yourself and made new plans.
Month after month, we watched you birth your babies. And we felt the masks on our own faces becoming wet from the tears of joy we shed as we watched you hold your babies for the first time. We savored the hours spent together inside the bubble of your labor & delivery room...where things strangely felt normal.
We’re thrilled to be sharing our first guest blogger- Indianapolis based Courtney Summitt! Together with her husband Ryan, she’s done a ton of work to prepare their hearts, home, and family for their 2nd baby boy during a pandemic. Here’s a look into what they are doing, along with the information they sent to their family for you to use as a guide.
Please give Courtney a warm welcome!
Mother’s Day is just around the corner! Mothers deserve to be celebrated every year- and even more so this year. Moms have been restructuring and pivoting, all the while comforting her family and dealing with her own worries and fears. Moms are now working from home, homeschooling, isolated from their friends and extended family, in the throes of having a newborn, wiping the tears from disappointed teenagers, and missing their child’s graduation. Being a mom isn’t easy- and being one during a pandemic means Mother’s Day 2020 needs to be EXTRA special!!
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Our Ultimate Hospital Bag Checklist has been downloaded hundreds of times over the past year. We love helping parents from all over the country figuring out what comforts from home will help them during their labor and postpartum hospital stay.
Now that COVID-19 is changing everything- including labor and delivery- we decided to create a new list for parents expecting a baby during this challenging time. Our goal here is to help you reshape your thinking about what you really need…along with some tactical tips to help prevent cross-contamination from hospital to home and vice versa.
But first…To our pregnant friends in our community-
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F•R•I•E•N•D•S Fans! Anyone else excited about the Friends Reunion coming to HBO?!
I KNOW!
Could I BE any happier?
What’s my excitement level at you ask? SEVEN. Seven. seven.
If you know me well, then you know I LOVE Friends! My husband and I tuned in every Thursday night- long before on-demand and streaming services existed. Ya know, when you actually had to BE home to press record if you wanted to “tape” a show!
One of the perks of the season of parenthood I’m in is watching the show with my young adult children. They speak fluent Friends references and they send me Friends gifs & memes often- clearly they know their momma’s love language.
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There are luxury baby products that FEEL like must-haves because they make life more manageable. Trust us- we get it! There are so many baby items we feel we can’t live without, too. But in the end…we can.
The goal of this list is to help you prepare for life at home with your newborn for 2-4 weeks in social distancing, quarantine or isolation. Many parents are faced with canceling baby showers and they are worried about not having the necessities on hand. Our list isn’t what you might want…but rather what you will need from the eyes of two postpartum doulas.
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Here’s the deal! We want to talk about the elephant in the room sooner rather than later.
And so we’re just going to come right out and say it- Coronavirus or COVID-19. Trust us when we say we don't want to strike fear or panic. But we do want to be realistic about how the potential of the virus spreading could impact the daily lives of our pregnant and new parent friends. As doulas who are in someone else’s home (almost daily these days- no joke) and at the hospital a couple of times per month, we have been watching closely as things unfold. Today, March 6, 2020, the first known case of COVID-19 was confirmed in Indiana- which isn’t a surprise.
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5 years ago today I woke up to a contraction just before my alarm for work went off. It didn’t feel any different than the Braxton Hicks I had been having for the past several weeks but it was the only one that had woken me up from a dead sleep— so I just knew it was the real thing even though I was only 37 weeks pregnant. I’m thankful for that intuition because no one around me fully grasped that I was in early labor.
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Are you ready for the secret sauce to newborn and infant sleep?
If we had to guess, you might even be ready to buy it in a Costco size bottle. Well, guess what?!—your first bottle is ON US!
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So you want to rock your labor and delivery- and specifically, you want an unmedicated birth?! Choosing to decline medications or an epidural, and birthing a baby without these said drugs, isn’t going to be easy- but it can be done. And we’re here to help you prepare!
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After eight installments in our Postpartum Series, we’ve arrived to THE BIG ONE…the one about sex. Talk about vulnerability! This post came out of a mixture of stories/advice from friends, troubles our clients went through, along with our own personal experiences. We are getting REAL, friends.
Like we’ve done a couple of times here on the Embrace the Cape blog, this post comes with a warning- This is unfiltered! Nothing to be ashamed of, but if the topic of sex isn’t your thing, then move right along and we’ll see you back next week!
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You have probably heard all about the “postpartum checkup” or “postpartum follow up” or “postnatal visit” already. Whatever you call it, there’s a plethora of stigma surrounding this pivotal appointment with your OBGYN or Midwife. In true Indiana Birth & Parenting fashion, we’re here to peel back the layers and shed light on what you can really expect…and what feelings might pop up unexpectedly.
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You’ve made it through 4 weeks of parenthood! You’re starting to get a little more pep in your step and gaining confidence in this whole having a newborn thing. You’re still not getting much sleep but it’s starting to feel like a new normal- especially since the baby did a longer stretch last night! You basically can conquer the world now... right?
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Imagine it’s a weekday morning and you’re at home with your little baby. You’re in your favorite chair or coziest spot on the couch and your best friend just came over. Oh, you know the one. They can come over, look right past any disarray, and sit with you making you feel at ease- immediately. They know where your mugs are and easily make their own cup of tea. They see that there are a few dishes in the sink from the night before, so they take care of those too without making a big deal about it.
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Bringing home baby #2?! We're here to help with some tips about how to prepare your firstborn (aka 1.0) for their newborn sibling (aka 2.0).
Before you jump in, we want you to remember there will be double the tears, double the exhaustion, double the fears...and double the love.
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Although we could never cover all of the intricacies of what it’s like to bring home your first baby in one blog, we feel like getting a small glimpse can be greatly beneficial. We have a lot of information to cover so we are going to dive right in with some of our key advice and things to expect in the first days after bringing your baby home
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In Part Three of our Postpartum Series, we’re headed up north and talking about what you can expect from the upper part of your body during the first 72 hours post-delivery. This area tends to be the hub for a lot of “firsts” for new moms.
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