The Early Days of Motherhood- What I Wish I’d Known

by Jordan

my story

5 years ago today I woke up to a contraction just before my alarm for work went off. It didn’t feel any different than the Braxton Hicks I had been having for the past several weeks but it was the only one that had woken me up from a dead sleep— so I just knew it was the real thing even though I was only 37 weeks pregnant. I’m thankful for that intuition because no one around me fully grasped that I was in early labor.

Early labor and sporadic contractions lasted most of the day. Mark (my husband) went to work and I stayed home soaking the day up. When he eventually came home I made him take me to get lunch and to Target to grab some nursing bras- which probably added to his thoughts that this wasn’t the real thing.

Well, that all quickly changed that night when I quickly went from casual contractions to my water breaking at home, heading to the hospital, and my babe being born an hour after we arrived.

Three hours later I had my baby in my arms.

Let’s just say I was right. That baby came— full throttle. A little early but healthy and strong as ever. My labor was such a blur. Only a few things stick out to me about this day- and this is one of them. I was at the point of no return and my baby was coming FAST. I remember looking directly at my nurse as I was about to freak out- wondering if I had made the right choice about going unmedicated. I asked her if I had made the right choice…and she just looked at me blankly! Thankfully my best friend chimed in and said, “YES!” even though I’m pretty sure she thought I was crazy. To my nurse’s defense, she’d had for four unmedicated births herself, so she knew how I was feeling…and I’m grateful she didn’t say anything.

At that point in my life I wasn’t a doula (barely even knew what one was) and I was experiencing pregnancy and labor just like any other first-time mom.

I planned for an unmedicated birth even though I never even took a class. I googled everything I thought I needed to know. The problem was I spent so much of my pregnancy focused on my birth that I didn’t do much preparation for my postpartum experience. Preparing for what baby would need. Preparing for what I would need. Educating myself on breastfeeding.

Thankfully my birth went beautifully! I rocked it like a boss!...... but really, THANKFULLY it did because I literally did no preparation for what it would look like if it hadn’t gone how I had hoped. Which would have rocked me to my core— much like not planning and preparing for my postpartum experience did.

looking back

Here are some of the things I wish I had known-

🌿 That a fast labor can be just hard as a long and steady one- the whirlwind factor isn’t for the faint-hearted

🌿 How hard (physically and emotionally) it is to wake up a sleeping baby to nurse around the clock, but also how important it is in those first days.

🌿 How you might go through labor like a bad@$$ but the aftermath might leave you needing your husband to help you shower.

🌿 That breastfeeding is incredibly hard. Like harder than labor. Even when it’s going beautifully. — hire an IBCLC (that’s non-judgmental) before the baby is here and take a class if it’s important to you. We know a great one!

🌿 That navigating an oversupply can cause problems much the same as an under supply

🌿 If you don’t have someone making a meal train for you—that it’s okay to gently ask someone to

🌿 Two words- Cluster Feeding. Babies need to eat every 2-3 hours for a good portion of the first year. But there are also times when they need to eat 7 more times in between that 2-3 hour stretch. Again- hard but SO important.

🌿 Having guests the first couple weeks is HARD. Even if it’s family. Unless they are truly capable of fully supporting a postpartum baby and mom and home without judgment and with helpful hands. ..... But right around 4-6 weeks postpartum. Ya, that’s when you need the company- no matter who it is. That’s when it gets lonely.

🌿 How much you would miss your spouse, even if they are right there beside you. Once a baby is in the picture it changes things. Absolutely for the better!! But it still feels bittersweet at first.

🌿 That this phase doesn’t last forever. It truly feels like it will in the moment. But I PROMISE you will find a new stride and YOU will come back better than ever. Even with your new sub-title as mom.

🌿 That women are freaking QUEENS!

Please know that however you experience Motherhood in those early days it’s okay to have a mix of emotions about it. It can be REALLY hard while also being the best days of your life— No matter how much you prepare. Looking back, even if I wish I would have known more or done things slightly different I am still incredibly grateful for my experience- it taught so many things. Like how incredibly strong I am. How to be an amazing mom. How to be a rockstar doula. And how important it is for women to support women.

No matter where you are on this journey learn and grow from your experience. Take it and use it to let it empower you to be a helpful hand to the new mothers that come after you.

love,

jordan

And to my firstborn- thank you for making me a Mama. Thank you for being so forgiving in those early days as we both figured out our new roles. Thank you for making me smile, laugh and cry in all the best ways. Thank you for trusting me and for loving me fiercely- even when I make mistakes.

It’s because of you I’m able to support new moms as they figure out those early postpartum days. You taught me so many lessons back then. Our time together as a newborn/new mom paved the way for where I am today.

Happy 5th Birthday, Landon! Now let’s go celebrate you at Monster Jam!