So you want to rock your labor and delivery- and specifically you want an unmedicated birth?! Choosing to decline medications or an epidural, and birthing a baby without these said drugs, isn’t going to be easy- but it can be done. And we’re here to help you prepare!
Let’s pause for a moment and talk about language first. We hope you will recognize that all birth is natural whether the baby comes out vaginally or out of an incision in your belly- it is a NATURAL occurrence to have a baby. The language that we will use will always reflect that. And we also want to encourage you to adopt that language as well. It makes a huge difference as to how we perceive ours and others’ births.
A lot of clients come to us with specific goals surrounding the birth of their baby. We could go on all day about labor positions, comfort measures, breathing techniques- the whole shebang! But today, we’re specifically talking about five of our best key components that will propel you into reaching your birthing goals.
LET’S GO!!!
5. handpick your providers
Hire providers that are not only on board with your plan, but that you also trust to give you the best advice if things don't go according to plan. When you search through stories and blogs about unmedicated childbirth you’ll often be met with stories of needing to go in blazing- ready to claw your way through your birth and prepared to fight the system. Though it might give you some fiery motivation, we’re here to tell you that it isn’t the best way to set yourself up for success. Instead, we want to encourage you to really do your research before committing to a doctor or practice for your birth.
Find some referrals from other women who have had similar goals as you and ask for their feedback on local doctors.
Ask or search for provider recommendations in your area in Facebook parenting groups.
Call a couple local doulas and ask for their feedback on which providers are going to be the best to work with given your wishes.
If you are in a rural area, it may be worth it to consider traveling to a neighboring city with more options. It is not uncommon for us to have clients that travel upwards of an hour or more to get to their preferred hospital.
Consider a group of doctors that work similarly, and have an on-call rotation rather than one specific doctor that will deliver your baby. We know it sounds scary to have someone you don’t know very well take care of you during your labor. But having a doctor that is unrushed, well-rested, and not overworked can sometimes make all the difference in helping you meet your goals.
Locally, we are blessed with some of the best OBs!! Though some doctors or practices may be more medical minded than others, we mostly see providers that only want the best for their patients. If you were to call us today an ask for our advice, we would begin by asking you very specific questions pertaining to you and your wishes before making a recommendation. That said, 9 times out of 10 we will recommend a physician practice from OB/GYN of Indiana. Their love and respect for their patients is steady and apparent across the board.
4. establish your #birthsquad
Surround yourself with a supportive team ready and willing to do some of the work to help you get to your goal. This means that your team must be willing to get up in the middle of the night, potentially lose a whole night of sleep (or more) and physically do things to help you counteract the pain. Emotionally they will need to be able to stand strong as they see you in pain- but also be supportive if the plan takes a different path. When you begin to form this team in your mind, be sure you are able to be completely vulnerable in front every single one of them- making noises, expelling bodily fluids, and nudity are all part of birthing a baby. You have to feel free and safe to do and say anything and everything without the worry of feeling embarrassed or ashamed.
3. mentally prepare
Have you ever done a workout where you are being pushed so hard that your head and body are literally screaming "STOP, STOP RIGHT NOW, YOU CAN'T DO THIS. I SAID STAAAHHHP!!!” This will be going through your head at several points in your labor, and possibly through every single contraction towards the end. It’s a mental game and you have to figure out ahead of time how you will cope with these thoughts. This means that you must practice before you are actually in labor. Anytime your head is telling you that you can’t do something you need to tell it back- “I CAN- AND I WILL.”
2. tactically prepare
Take a hospital tour so you can visualize yourself in the space. Snap some pictures so you can look back and mentally prepare for your birth happening there. What time of day is it, how long are you there, what sort of obstacles or complications might arise, and how are you going to handle them. But also mentally note where to park, what door to enter, where to go once inside. Trust us, you don’t want to be in active labor nearing transition unsure of where to go while the sweet elderly gentleman volunteer is painstakingly searching for a wheelchair to snail walk you to the labor and delivery unit.
Another tangible way to prep is by taking CBE classes, watching videos, or listening to podcasts of birth stories with your partner or #BirthSquad. They need to know what to expect as much as you do. Yes, you are physically experiencing labor…but they are witnessing the person they love most in this world experiencing labor. It’s not an easy thing to do. The more they know about what they can expect, the better. This also serves as an opportunity for you explain to them how you might want to handle certain situations before you are in full blown labor.
have an open mind
No matter how much you plan, no matter your wishes, no matter if you do every. single. thing. you were “supposed” to do, your birth will look different than you visualized. In some ways, it will exceed your expectations tenfold. And, in other ways, you may have certain things that you will have to process, and possibly even grieve. It is so hard to set goals and expectations for an experience that you have never been through before- give yourself the grace to change your mind.
We want you to soak in and retain this part more than anything else. Ya ready???
If you are a #goalgetter through and through, and you are more than capable of reaching the goals you set for your birth, you must remember that childbirth is a multiplayer sport. And the real MVP is your baby- their needs are always going to trump your wishes. So even if you have been through childbirth before, ‘this baby’ has not, and THIS baby may have different needs during the labor and delivery than the previous.
It is completely acceptable to have wants, wishes, and goals surrounding your birth. We wish every single person that has a baby gets the feeling of joy, accomplishment, and #supermom status. Remember that you can have those feelings no matter how you have your baby! Every single birth takes strength you never knew you had. Making tough decisions and changing courses takes courage and bravery. Adjusting your needs to meet your baby’s needs undoubtedly makes you a #supermom. And the moment you get to fully embrace that sweet babe in your arms, let everything else melt away for a moment so that you can truly feel this: JOY.
