Postpartum During COVID-19

Preparing to bring a newborn home during COVID-19 season? A process of gathering info, setting a plan, and navigating the challenges of it all!

We’re thrilled to be sharing our first guest blogger- Indianapolis based Courtney Summitt! Together with her husband Ryan, she’s done a ton of work to prepare their hearts, home, and family for their 2nd baby boy during a pandemic. Here’s a look into what they are doing, along with the information they sent to their family for you to use as a guide.
Please give Courtney a warm welcome!
Jordan + Amy

Hey Indiana Birth & parenting community! If you’re following Amy and Jordan’s blog, know with confidence that you’re in the right place! These two are angels and truly help make this world a better place with their work, their energy, and their beautiful spirits. I am a lucky client of theirs! My name is Courtney. I’m an outpatient orthopedic physical therapist, currently doing advanced course work in treating pelvic health and obstetrics/postpartum. I’m also a yoga instructor and like to stay active with my husband, Ryan, and our two labs. I’m a mom to a little boy gone too soon – Luca was born prematurely at almost 23 weeks and is painfully missed every day. And I’m currently expecting my second son, Beck, due in mid-July!

Pregnancy during COVID-19 has been quite the journey. I think we’ve all traveled through various dimensions of feelings, thoughts, anxieties, logic, mental-emotional fatigue, and everything in between as it’s unfolded over these last few months, no matter what phase of life you’re in. We’ve all been affected in some way and have noticed changes in our daily lives. The hardest part for me has been trying to decide what to trust. There’s so much we just don’t know yet and so many conflicting inputs. We all want to do our due diligence and be safe while also continuing to live life as best we can. It is hard!

As I’m approaching 35 weeks with this growing babe, Ryan and I are talking more with our doctors and care team about expectations for bringing our little one home. We’ve talked to my OB, who works in a team with four other providers that I’ve met throughout my prenatal care, as well as our pediatrician. I’ve talked to my doulas as they’re working with moms in various hospital systems. And we’ve done our own research as best we can, given this is still all very new and there’s a lack of substantial data. I also have a very close friend due with her second baby just 2-3 weeks before me, so she’s shared what her OB and Pediatrician (from a different local hospital system than mine) have recommended as well.

Ryan and I basically took the approach of speaking directly to our personal providers and trusted resources to gather information. We left overwhelming, unreliable media sources at the door – these simply weren’t helpful to us. We understand that we cannot control everything, and this is just not a case where anyone can tell us the exact right thing to do. That’s tough to swallow as a new parent whose desire is to do the very best thing for your babe above any and everything else.

Yet it’s a big first step of parenthood, right? - having to make decisions based on the best information that you have at the present time, while prioritizing your needs and safety as a family above all.

Not as easy as it may seem. So, we did our best in gathering reliable info and decided to set out a plan that we truly felt was best for us and our baby, one that we were most comfortable with.

Once we had the recommendations from our doctors (as you’ll see in the letter below), we still had a lot to consider! Ryan and I accept that things will simply not be as we wanted or hoped they would be, and that really sucks - we’ve also been living in that space for a long time now since losing our first baby. If this space is new to you right now, I empathize. It is unsettling and uncomfortable, and I’m sorry that you’re hurting. Ryan and I did our best to put our energy into our primary focus: bringing our baby boy home healthy and safe, and keeping him that way while he’s still developing and getting used to this new world! Ryan decided that for us it would be best to write a letter (email) to send to both of our families to lay out the plan. We wanted to keep our message direct, clear, and consistent amongst everyone.

For us, physically writing it down helped relieve stress and let go of the uncertainties and self-doubts.

It also allowed us to feel more prepared and settled for questions to come. We wanted to keep our families informed and involved because they’re so important to us, and we wanted to transparently explain our thought process - we know that having to restrict seeing your newest family member is not easy. It will not be easy for us either! And it’s certainly not what we want.

We wanted to be fair, and while I know that I cannot control anyone else’s reaction or feelings about something I say or do, it’s still hard not to want to when it’s people you love and care about. I can admit that I tend to be a people-pleaser which can cause me unhelpful stress and anxiety – that’s something I’m personally working on. Maybe you’re there too, I see you, and maybe that’s fortunately not something you worry about which is wonderful!

I found it very helpful to talk through my concerns and worries about setting and then sharing our plan with a trusted friend who I knew could understand – for me that was my doulas. For you, maybe it’s one of your doctors or a close friend that is also pregnant or recently postpartum, a close family member, or anyone that you feel comfortable being vulnerable and open with. It was such a blessing! She helped me embrace that setting these sorts of restrictions for my newborn’s visitation was not over-the-top, overly anxious, or too extreme. She eased my mind that this is exactly what most doctors of her clients’ have been recommending. Sadly, the world we live in is just extreme right now. She boosted my confidence in myself that I’m doing the best thing in putting my baby first and deciding that both Ryan and I are content with, even if maybe others aren’t.

She also gave me a few other things to think about – a big one being that I, the postpartum mom, will be at as much risk of infection as my baby. The hormone change after delivery and loss of the placenta is absolutely huge! Our mommy immune systems will take a hit for a couple of weeks at least, so these restrictions protect us too. We need to be there to bond with and breastfeed our babes (if you’re going that route).

Another one is the reality of needing one person, if possible, to help out. My pediatrician recommended this as well stating, “babies take a village” so considering the option of how to have support is still important. So if support is not off the table, how do we go about that with all these restrictions? What’s reasonable?

As you’ll see in the letter, the current recommendation before visiting a newborn is strict isolation for 14 days before interacting with the baby or parents for at least the first 2 weeks of baby’s life – not going to work, grocery, pharmacy, anyone else’s house or having anyone to theirs, not going anywhere at all, and not being in any contact with someone who is going into the real world.

This is extreme and a huge ask of anyone! I do not consider this lightly.

Some of us may be fortunate enough to have this as a realistic option, and some may not. The goal would be to have one individual isolate before coming to live with you postpartum. They’d be able to assist you at home while you and your partner are caring for the baby.

Some new parents may want to start with the idea of just a few days, and many are shooting for 10-14 days - totally depends on your situation and life. It will certainly be different that we can’t just run to the store to grab something we need or have loved ones bringing meals.

I view this helper as a way for the new parents to get used to their new family and life, being able to focus more intentionally on their baby without the overwhelming stress of struggling to keep up with pets, dishes, laundry, cleaning, and possibly older siblings. And while this type of isolating is very extreme, creativity can certainly come into play for it to be attainable! I’ve heard of the expecting grandmas or aunts having their working spouse go stay with another family member for example, or my friend’s mom is able to divide her home so that she and her husband stay in different bedrooms and bathrooms, don’t share common areas except the kitchen, wear masks in open areas, and just use disinfecting wipes after touching any shared surfaces. And if having someone isolate and live with you is not an option or just not your choice, that’s ok! Again, this unprecedented time leaves us with no exact right answer.

We’re all doing the best we can.

Ultimately, these decisions are all up to you and your partner. Gather reliable information from your doctors/experts, discuss your thoughts and ideas (and frustrations too) together, talk to a supportive loved one if that’s helpful to you, consider your personal situation realistically to decide what will best serve your new little family, and then lay out your plan. Ryan and I choose to start this process with plenty of time to go firstly, to keep our families informed, and secondly, to give ourselves peace of mind to enjoy our last 8 weeks of pregnancy.

Simply put, pregnancy has been weird during COVID.

Us moms and dads have had to give up a lot of expectations about what we thought was normal and looked forward to experiencing, like getting to have anatomy ultrasounds together. It’s been tough. It’s ok to feel sad and disappointed for these losses. It’s ok to be upset that bringing your newborn home may not look like you dreamed it would, feel the feels. Then, if it’s helpful, consider perspective.

Know that you’re not alone. I’m sure that most of us personally know at least one family who did not get to have visitors in the hospital and were not able to introduce their babe to their family in person at home for many weeks or months. Let’s support each other as best we can! I personally am so grateful that we have things like FaceTime, Google Duo, and Zoom to still have support - these things were certainly not available to our own parents when we were babies.

Remember your resilience- and remember a very valued statement of mine from Jordan Peterson, “We’re stronger than things are terrible”. This is a challenging situation, and we are all armed for the task.

From one mom to another- sending love and support to you all,

courtney

Here’s the letter Ryan and I wrote. If you’d like to change the details or use it as a starting point for your own letter, be my guest!

Hey Fam,

We’re wanting to bring up the topic of visiting Beck after he’s here - it may be on some of your minds already or you may not have even considered it yet as everything has been changing so much so quickly, so we just want to be open with you in bringing it up with plenty of time to go. In a perfect world we would love to have family over as soon as possible after Beck arrives so everyone can meet him - we know you’re all as excited as we are! Unfortunately, we are in the unprecedented time of COVID. With what is currently known and with all of the uncertainties, we are going to have a less than ideal first few weeks of Beck’s life. No one wants it this way, and we certainly don’t want to have to do this, but we’re hoping you can appreciate our caution in setting these restrictions, knowing that it is temporary and most importantly, in the best interest of Beck. Courtney and I did everything we possibly could to protect Luca and would have done absolutely anything more to have him here, so we’re doing that same thing now with Beck in keeping him as safe and healthy as we can. The below plan has been put together after speaking with our pediatrician, OBGYN team, doulas, and doing other research.

At the hospital and prior to the first Pediatrician visit: No visitors in any way. Hospital policy is not allowing any visitors at all, and our pediatrician says we’ll bring Beck in for his first visit at about 48 hours post discharge. Obviously, there will be plenty of Facetime happening here.
Up to two weeks after he is born: Visits coming to the house and meeting him through our sliding glass door. Maybe wearing masks outside at >6 ft distance, just no holding or physical contact (to us or Beck), but let’s plan on the conservative side here.

After two weeks: It’s recommended that any visitors have had very limited public exposure for 14 days - if the visitor has been able to isolate by having minimum contact with others and public places taking all precautions there, they can wear a mask, plan to change clothes once you arrive (unless you just showered and did not stop for gas/anywhere on your way over), we will have gloves available, obviously no kissing Beck anywhere. If unable to isolate that much, can do visits outside at >6ft distance with a mask, no physical contact. Will keep all visits fairly short, an hour or less based on what our pediatrician advised.
Also please remember to make sure you are updated on your Tdap booster! We’ve talked to each of you about this so this is not new news. This must be done at least 14 days before coming into contact with the baby (a long-standing pre-covid mandate).

There is always a chance this could become more or less restrictive based on how things go- we’re doing the best we can with the guidance and research that we have available to us at this time, and felt it would be best to set out an initial plan so everyone (including us) could adjust our mindsets and plans accordingly. We know we are not the only family having to deal with this, and many have had it far worse with no family being able to meet their little one for a few months, so we’re all working through this together. We all have the common goal of getting our healthy boy home safely! We know that this really sucks! So as much as we hate having to set this plan, we figured you would rather know now instead of having your own expectations and being surprised or disappointed once he is here.

Love you all and thank you very much for your support during all of this!